Overnight, I became old. A year and a half ago, I learned that the persistent symptoms I was having were actually an advanced case of cancer. After considerable pondering, I came to the view that I had acquired a surrogate to take the blame for the gradual appearance of minor infirmities suspiciously like those I had observed among the previous generation as they aged.
Very convenient to have a serious illness to cloak the signals of the aging process. Take forgetfulness (please!). This side effect of some medications is also a sign of advancing age. Note the participle which obscures the state of the process. i.e.: "--ing" indicating an unidentifiable stage of progress. I could have written "advanced," a state closer to the end of the process. But I assure you, I have a long way to go before achieving that distinction!
Needing more sleep is commonly considered another sign of "aging," e.g. early to bed, or daytime napping. My claim is that the ravages of a severe illness steals away my endurance. I consider sleep a form of treatment, not a sign of "aging," and therefore I indulge myself.
Shaky, wobbly handwriting is another manifestation of aging, one I noticed especially in my grandmother's letters. These days, evidence of this is harder to find, what with emails and instant messaging so universally used for communication and so optimally legible. Now I use my signature as a key indicator of the status of this illness, swinging from spiked, awkward letters during peaks of illness to free-flowing, vigorous characters when I'm feeling better. A diagnostic aid, surely NOT aging!
The question boils down to this: Would I trade a symptom of illness for a milepost of my journey through life? You bet! The signs of aging are proof positive of the continued existence of life. I think I've just talked myself into embracing aging and abandoning symptoms of illness as a validation of my drive to fully realize the remainder of my life.
Join me in an enlightened salute: Le chaim!
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted July 17, 2008
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