Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Cricket Kit

With the first hint of cooler weather as Autumn approaches, the crickets return, seeking a warmer environment: inside the house with us, not outside in their summer houses. They appear in our guest bath and the surrounding area having squeezed through the small slit between the guest quarters and the garage. Unwilling to squash them under foot, leaving a gooey mess to scrape up, we have developed a technique for capturing them, carrying them to the nearest door to the outdoors, and flinging them into the grassy lawn far enough out so that they would have a hard time finding their way back indoors. We call this The Cricket Kit. The Cricket Kit consists of two parts: a plastic cup, the short kind with a large opening in which punch is served at overpopulated outdoor summer weddings and bar mitzvahs by the pool; part two is a thin 6x9” flexible rectangle of light cardboard. The procedure upon spotting a stealthy cricket intent on securing a warm winter berth, is to grab the “Kit,” approach the cricket from behind and quickly pop the plastic cup over it. This part of the capture is the trickiest; the little devils have 360 degrees of vision and move like the proverbial drop of water on a hot skillet. Often, three or four attempts are required to secure captivity. The chase does wonders for sharpening one’s reflexes! The next step is to slide the rectangle of cardboard between the rim of the cup and the floor without creating an escape space or inflicting a crippling injury to the cricket’s legs. Carefully lift the assemblage so that light pressure between the cardboard and the upended cup secures the contrivance for the journey to the great outdoors. It is even possible, with a minimum of repetition, to master the journey single-handedly so that the free hand can open the door. You now have a humane way to rid your home of the occasional cricket while righteously donning an enveloping mantle of virtue toward other living creatures. Do, however, be sure that your safari is aimed at a cricket, an essentially harmless, if nervous, insect. Save the fly swatter technique for those critters of dubious origins or spider-like configurations. The cricket, incidentally, is NOT a euphemism for cockroach, a creature deserving, in my opinion, instant execution energized by a tsunami of revulsion. But that is my entomological bias; my empathy and respect for the integrity of other living creatures does not extend beyond the world crickets. Completed July 11, 2010