Chemo "Lite"

One informal, intuitive measurement of the effectiveness of chemotherapy for the treatment of cancer can be defined by the severity of the side effects of medication. Using one of the more common side effects, nausea as an example, one might say that the stronger the feeling of nausea, the more effective the medication is in treating the illness assuming, of course, that dosage of the medication has been accurately calculated.

As the Zactima clinical trial proceeds, we are reviewing the side effects I am experiencing assuming that the appearance of the known side effects indicates the presence of clinically effective Zactima, not the placebo. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 the most severe reaction, here is a list of known Zactima side effects plus a few I have added, ranked compared with past experience with the same side effect or a subjective evaluation of what severe might mean:

NAUSEA=4
FATIGUE (need for naps, motivation to "do," stamina, endurance)=3
DIARRHEA=7
RASH (red, patchy, itchy skin condition appearing following exposure to sunlight enduring for several weeks)=5
ANXIETY=3
DEPRESSION=2
EDEMA=3
SKIN SENSITIVITY=5
SIGNATURE (For me, a primary indicator of overall "health:" executed with flourish and verve demonstrating strength vs wavering, indecisive character formations with tremors evident demonstrating weakness)=2

Compared with previous courses of chemotherapy, the present Zactima trial feels relatively tolerable, thus "chemo lite."

We are thankful for the appearance of side effects that reinforce our intuition that we are receiving the real Zactima and we cheer: "Bring them on!"

Copyright 2007

First Anniversary

October 26, 2007 marks my first anniversary as a survivor of cancer and Michael’s as a surviving caregiver. Back then, the doctors were counting my remaining days in weeks and months, chary of going out on a limb with a prognosis of as much as a year’s survival. The statistic the medical community uses to measure a successful outcome for this illness is the five-year mark without recurrence. I am not yet in remission, and I continue to conduct a vigorous daily campaign to rid myself of this evil companion.

The signs of improvement are solid, particularly in the underlying strength of my health. A recent brief spell of "normalcy" reinforced this perception. While crossing an Amtrak waiting room on our last return trip from Charleston, I suddenly became aware of myself in full stride, fueled by energy and bounce, glowing with health, propelled forward rather than dragging myself along. What a thrill to experience my former energetic self. Instantly my eyes smarted with tears of wonder and gratitude. This is cause to celebrate!

And so we are! We are piggy-backing onto our next trip to Charleston, leaving directly from the Hollings Cancer Center for the warm sun and cool mountain breezes of Puerto Rico. The yoga retreat has minimal amenities: no room telephones or TV, no bathtubs (shower only). A pool and stupendous mountain views soothe the body and spirit. In these inspiring surroundings with few distractions, we hope to reduce stress, divest ourselves of mental baggage, and free up our spirits to continue the campaign to eliminate this illness from dominating our lives.

You have made it possible. Our everlasting thanks for being with us on this journey.

Copyright 2007

Near Normal

We are intensely grateful to be home for a stretch after the initial flurry of appointments with the staff of the experimental drug clinical study in Charleston. They seem satisfied with the way things are progressing, meaning that we show up in the doctor’s office on time per schedule with their questionnaires about mood, pain levels, and bowel movements duly completed, my veins continue to stand up to the blood draws, and the ECGs reflect continuing good heart health.

I am experiencing some medication side effects cited in the study materials including mild nausea and fatigue plus some that are less common such as sensitivity to sunlight and a rash appearing on forearms, neck and face.

I am tempted to conclude that the presence of these effects means I am getting the drug, not a placebo. The frustration of this situation is that the effects can also be attributed to symptoms of the illness.

And just to be fair, a third possibility exists: that the side effects are merely confirmation of an even more common, ultimately deadly condition called "aging." I cringe to accept the inevitability of succumbing to such a malady. Small comfort to know that my mind is still stuck at age 27!

We met with our oncologist on 10-3, who gave us the most exciting news since the October 2006 diagnosis: every lab value is in the normal range! That means my liver is functioning as normal, my hemoglobin is carrying adequate oxygen to keep me alert and my kidneys are doing their job.

The cancer markers, however, are up: Calcitonin is up 3% and CEA up 75% vs the previous readings on 7-12-07. The oncologist points out that dying cancer cells can also raise the CEA, which is encouraging in that the trial drug may be responsible, not growth of the cancer itself.

In summary, my underlying health is becoming more stable; the strength will serve me well in rallying my immune system to fight this illness.

My apologies for a long absence from the blog. I pledge to do better in the future. Thank you for standing by me so loyally. I’m sure your support and caring concern has produced the good results I’m feeling today.

Copyright 2007
Posted: October 6, 2007