For almost three years Michael has been anticipating my needs plus shouldering the Chores of Living – everything that keeps the engine of life going from day to day. Prior to D(iagnosis) Day it took two of us to keep a finger in the dike. As this health crisis engulfed us, we immediately pared back to essentials.
Now, with my returning strength, we are reverting to a more equitable division of responsibility: I feel better for carrying my share and Michael can return to his choice projects without guilt or incurring an insurmountable backlog.
Relieved of a dual share of responsibilities, Michael is now resuming HIS life. Mostly that means puttering aboard Prudence, tinkering with new ideas and realizing creative improvements to make her sail better. The great seven year rebuilding project was finished in 2004 but, paradoxically, the To Do list never gets shorter.
A major project, released from hold and recently completed, was assembling and documenting the life work of Michael’s father, the inventor/engineer Solomon Adler. The objective was to find a suitable home that would preserve his scores of patents and drawings, along with a collection of hand-made working prototypes demonstrating the developmental stages of what became the PaceSetter sewing machine series, still being manufactured by the Brother Corporation. Now, a deed of gift has transferred ownership of this meticulous collection to The Smithsonian Institution’s Museum of American Invention.
With greater frequency these days, I find Michael stretched out in the recliner with a book and a glass of iced tea at his elbow. I grin with pleasure to see him, if briefly, stepping aside from a demanding burden to refresh himself and take care of his own health.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 2, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I Ran
The traffic was heavy at morning rush hour along Staples Mill Road past the Amtrak station. Mindful of gasoline economy and environmental pollution, we opted to walk the block and a half separating us from a caffeine boost at Dunkin’ Donuts. No crosswalks defined pedestrian safety zones for crossing at the intersection. A sidewalk offered safe passage to walkers, although scattered pebbles and random tufts of grass suggested lack of use in this auto-dependent, strip mall-saturated suburb of Richmond.
Spying a break in traffic between signals, we (unlawfully) stepped onto the six-lane highway and began to cross at a brisk walk. As we reached the midpoint, traffic began to move, devouring the gap between us.
Move out! every instinct screamed at me. Before I realized it, my mind had leapt past the assessment, judgment and decision processes, bringing me directly to action: Run!
With Michael keeping pace at my side, a brisk sprint brought me safely, with margin to spare, to the far side of this heavily traveled roadway.
Without a conscious thought, I had run for the first time in almost three years! I feel as if I have leapt a giant chasm on the way to recovery. Recently I have been subliminally aware that I was approaching a milestone: pushing myself to the next level of my treadmill workout by adding sprint intervals. Now the real life spontaneous evidence has forced me to accept that I am ready to move on without delay.
A sense of capability floods my being. I am grateful to have your company; your support has put wings on my feet and determination in my heart.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 28, 2009
Spying a break in traffic between signals, we (unlawfully) stepped onto the six-lane highway and began to cross at a brisk walk. As we reached the midpoint, traffic began to move, devouring the gap between us.
Move out! every instinct screamed at me. Before I realized it, my mind had leapt past the assessment, judgment and decision processes, bringing me directly to action: Run!
With Michael keeping pace at my side, a brisk sprint brought me safely, with margin to spare, to the far side of this heavily traveled roadway.
Without a conscious thought, I had run for the first time in almost three years! I feel as if I have leapt a giant chasm on the way to recovery. Recently I have been subliminally aware that I was approaching a milestone: pushing myself to the next level of my treadmill workout by adding sprint intervals. Now the real life spontaneous evidence has forced me to accept that I am ready to move on without delay.
A sense of capability floods my being. I am grateful to have your company; your support has put wings on my feet and determination in my heart.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
"Relay for Life"
This is the third year I have qualified to participate as a cancer Survivor in this nationally sponsored, locally organized event and the first time I have been able to attend. Not being much given to social welfare gatherings that throw together persons largely unknown to one another who nevertheless share support for the designated cause, I set off with a sense of obligation rather than anticipation to join fellow survivors, their caregivers and other concerned parties.
The event was not a cookie-cutter replication of scripted, rah-rah half-time style boosterism to court media attention. The keynote theme is HOPE. Cynically, I suppose, and subconsciously I expected to hear: “Look what we are doing for you to keep your hope alive.” What I heard instead was an appeal to reach out to each other for support and inspiration. The unexpected turn-around rattled loose my expectations, allowing me to hear a broader message with diverse meanings.
It was a moving event, especially so to see persons with illness far more advanced than mine smiling, their eyes triumphant as they completed the quarter-mile course, their caregivers beaming at their sides.
Despite the size of the gathering and my negative expectations, I felt a one-on-one connection with the employee of a local retirement community who packed the box lunch I enjoyed. I could envision a person spreading the tuna fish salad on a roll and filling the deviled eggs, then, with heart, assembling the contents and sending it out directly to me. The idea that someone who didn’t even know me would reach out to me in that caring manner was comforting. The gesture reinforced my commitment to keep stepping along with a positive attitude toward whatever outcome awaits me.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 26, 2009
The event was not a cookie-cutter replication of scripted, rah-rah half-time style boosterism to court media attention. The keynote theme is HOPE. Cynically, I suppose, and subconsciously I expected to hear: “Look what we are doing for you to keep your hope alive.” What I heard instead was an appeal to reach out to each other for support and inspiration. The unexpected turn-around rattled loose my expectations, allowing me to hear a broader message with diverse meanings.
It was a moving event, especially so to see persons with illness far more advanced than mine smiling, their eyes triumphant as they completed the quarter-mile course, their caregivers beaming at their sides.
Despite the size of the gathering and my negative expectations, I felt a one-on-one connection with the employee of a local retirement community who packed the box lunch I enjoyed. I could envision a person spreading the tuna fish salad on a roll and filling the deviled eggs, then, with heart, assembling the contents and sending it out directly to me. The idea that someone who didn’t even know me would reach out to me in that caring manner was comforting. The gesture reinforced my commitment to keep stepping along with a positive attitude toward whatever outcome awaits me.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Comforts of Family
One of my six brothers just departed after a four day stay. Each family visit has its own flavor depending on the menu of participants and the recipes of current and past events that evoke the aroma of emotions long dormant.
If the Gallup organization were looking for a poll sample they would have no need to look further than our family for diversity of age and occupation. From the oldest (me) to the youngest covers a span of 16 years, a generation’s worth of viewpoints. So, when I want support, I call the siblings closest to my age in the family lineup. Their viewpoint is more likely to incline towards mine where wisdom is measured by the extent of life experience. They are less skeptical of an older sister’s dicta, since the divergence between their life experience and mine is smaller.
When I want to open windows and let in the fresh air of contemporary thinking, I consult with the younger end of the family. If I hear “Hey, dude, what’s up?” I know I have reached back far enough to connect with the entire spectrum of contemporary opinion.
We have an attorney, an editor, a teacher, a retired marketer (me), a computer genius, a retired clamdigger, a retired phlebotomist (now a professional grandmother), a mechanical whiz, and a retired quality control specialist and former Marine. And that is just siblings; the range of occupations becomes yet more diverse if you include spouses, children and grandchildren, cousins, nieces and nephews.
If it takes a village to raise a child (thank you, Hillary), then it required an entire suburb to raise the Chapmans.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 10, 2009
If the Gallup organization were looking for a poll sample they would have no need to look further than our family for diversity of age and occupation. From the oldest (me) to the youngest covers a span of 16 years, a generation’s worth of viewpoints. So, when I want support, I call the siblings closest to my age in the family lineup. Their viewpoint is more likely to incline towards mine where wisdom is measured by the extent of life experience. They are less skeptical of an older sister’s dicta, since the divergence between their life experience and mine is smaller.
When I want to open windows and let in the fresh air of contemporary thinking, I consult with the younger end of the family. If I hear “Hey, dude, what’s up?” I know I have reached back far enough to connect with the entire spectrum of contemporary opinion.
We have an attorney, an editor, a teacher, a retired marketer (me), a computer genius, a retired clamdigger, a retired phlebotomist (now a professional grandmother), a mechanical whiz, and a retired quality control specialist and former Marine. And that is just siblings; the range of occupations becomes yet more diverse if you include spouses, children and grandchildren, cousins, nieces and nephews.
If it takes a village to raise a child (thank you, Hillary), then it required an entire suburb to raise the Chapmans.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 10, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Uncertainty
The final piece of April’s blood analysis has dropped into place with mixed results. CEA (CarcinoEmbryonic Antigen) monitors the creation of new cancer cells. A decline in the cell count indicates improvement in the body’s ability to curb cancer cell generation. April’s report is down 28% from January’s. Of nine consecutive measures since the beginning of my participation in the experimental drug study in August 2007, seven declined from the previous measure.
The second measure is the Calcitonin level, specific to the thyroid function. A decline indicates less cancerous activity than before. The April results are up 34% from January’s total, continuing an erratic up and down pattern: four of the last nine measures increased and five declined.
The two measures do not track each other. True, they measure different aspects of cancer activity. But I would feel far better if they marched, shoulder to shoulder, in the same direction (down!). I feel the disappointment a child might upon hearing disappointing news after months of effort to conform to a discipline believed beneficial but displaying snail-slow results: “I did everything you said, and it hasn’t turned out all right. At least not enough to calm my fears.”
The three doctors (two of whom are oncologists) who monitor my status vis-à-vis cancer don’t share my concern about erratic results. Far more significant, they say, is the overall improvement: reduced intensity of chemotherapy side effects, thicker hair, returning strength, reduced fatigue and nausea, and weight stability. Listen to your body, they say; trust what it tells you. I hesitate to trust my interpretation of where I am because I cannot measure or quantify the weighty bias of hope. My personal bête noir, the unrealistic, storybook ideal of perfection, lures me on while cunningly remaining just beyond grasp.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 4, 2009
The second measure is the Calcitonin level, specific to the thyroid function. A decline indicates less cancerous activity than before. The April results are up 34% from January’s total, continuing an erratic up and down pattern: four of the last nine measures increased and five declined.
The two measures do not track each other. True, they measure different aspects of cancer activity. But I would feel far better if they marched, shoulder to shoulder, in the same direction (down!). I feel the disappointment a child might upon hearing disappointing news after months of effort to conform to a discipline believed beneficial but displaying snail-slow results: “I did everything you said, and it hasn’t turned out all right. At least not enough to calm my fears.”
The three doctors (two of whom are oncologists) who monitor my status vis-à-vis cancer don’t share my concern about erratic results. Far more significant, they say, is the overall improvement: reduced intensity of chemotherapy side effects, thicker hair, returning strength, reduced fatigue and nausea, and weight stability. Listen to your body, they say; trust what it tells you. I hesitate to trust my interpretation of where I am because I cannot measure or quantify the weighty bias of hope. My personal bête noir, the unrealistic, storybook ideal of perfection, lures me on while cunningly remaining just beyond grasp.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: June 4, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Vacations
Vacations are for gaining perspective and adjusting assumptions. Michael and I have been out on the boat for almost three weeks. As ties to our home dock became more tenuous, fundamental perceptions gradually illuminated our awareness.
Our hometown: Its rural charm has been nibbled away and elbowed out by the seduction of convenience, expedience and fashion. Wal-Mart has come to town, challenging local merchants to upgrade their curb appeal and to keep an alert eye on current trends. The downtown area has been “quaintified,” with remodeled shoppes and special events (farmers’ markets, monthly walk-abouts, annual festivals) evolving from rural to suburban, less a geographic designation than a socio-cultural phenomenon. Expectations have ratcheted up so that “going to town” is more a mall experience of selecting from many options than, as formerly, determining what we will “settle for” among what is available locally.
The towns we visited reminded us why we chose this area for our retirement. The whip lash of deceleration, stepping aside from the constant sprint of a fully-packed retirement to the sauntering pace of a paradoxically recent earlier era was extreme.
For example, thinking we could post blogs from an Internet “hot spot,” we packed the computer and sailed away. The hot spots were inadequate to non-existent, isolating us from the world of the Internet. Many towns had no groceries or adequately stocked convenience stores within walking distance of the local wharf (although most boasted an ice cream emporium within steps of the dock). So until my health has stabilized we will sail closer to home and the comforting presence of practitioners familiar with my exotic medical requirements. Remote is okay as long as it is near home.
You are never far from our thoughts, no matter where we are. Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: May 29, 2009
Our hometown: Its rural charm has been nibbled away and elbowed out by the seduction of convenience, expedience and fashion. Wal-Mart has come to town, challenging local merchants to upgrade their curb appeal and to keep an alert eye on current trends. The downtown area has been “quaintified,” with remodeled shoppes and special events (farmers’ markets, monthly walk-abouts, annual festivals) evolving from rural to suburban, less a geographic designation than a socio-cultural phenomenon. Expectations have ratcheted up so that “going to town” is more a mall experience of selecting from many options than, as formerly, determining what we will “settle for” among what is available locally.
The towns we visited reminded us why we chose this area for our retirement. The whip lash of deceleration, stepping aside from the constant sprint of a fully-packed retirement to the sauntering pace of a paradoxically recent earlier era was extreme.
For example, thinking we could post blogs from an Internet “hot spot,” we packed the computer and sailed away. The hot spots were inadequate to non-existent, isolating us from the world of the Internet. Many towns had no groceries or adequately stocked convenience stores within walking distance of the local wharf (although most boasted an ice cream emporium within steps of the dock). So until my health has stabilized we will sail closer to home and the comforting presence of practitioners familiar with my exotic medical requirements. Remote is okay as long as it is near home.
You are never far from our thoughts, no matter where we are. Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Middle Ground
For years I have claimed to seek a “nice boring life,” relief from the intense engagement required for riding a torrent of experience. Well, here it is and this is what it looks like: The mental landscape around me is arid, an occasional tuft of brown grass ground to a nubbin by barely stirring air. Dry moguls relieve the sere sameness; they grope for the company of the next anomaly. I have a prairie dog view, eyes at ground level, eyebrows raised in barren hope of relief from the daily blah-dom.
I still have the option of hunkering down into the dim world of disengagement, or leaving the flavorless safety of the burrow behind and stepping out in search of new experiences. I finally have the stamina to take on a few non-cancer-related commitments, lifting some of the burden from Michael and giving me opportunity to catch up on a two year plus backlog of paperwork and projects.
By no means do I imply that the battle with cancer is won. We are at a new plateau, a resting place on the trail between avalanche and the bunny slope. The remainder of my life will be spent in watchful observance of my health and adherence to positive physical and mental disciplines. Cancer is well known to lash back after a period of quiescence. Here is where Michael and I look for your company. To know that we have such loyal, caring companions for this trip is comforting.
This is the most exciting period of boredom I’ve had in my life!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: May 7, 2009
I still have the option of hunkering down into the dim world of disengagement, or leaving the flavorless safety of the burrow behind and stepping out in search of new experiences. I finally have the stamina to take on a few non-cancer-related commitments, lifting some of the burden from Michael and giving me opportunity to catch up on a two year plus backlog of paperwork and projects.
By no means do I imply that the battle with cancer is won. We are at a new plateau, a resting place on the trail between avalanche and the bunny slope. The remainder of my life will be spent in watchful observance of my health and adherence to positive physical and mental disciplines. Cancer is well known to lash back after a period of quiescence. Here is where Michael and I look for your company. To know that we have such loyal, caring companions for this trip is comforting.
This is the most exciting period of boredom I’ve had in my life!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: May 7, 2009
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