Several years ago, as newcomers in a homogeneous community of seasonal Florida residents, we duly visited our neighbors, introducing ourselves and inviting them to drop in for an evening of conversation and a nibble or two, to get to know one another better.
Expecting a moderate turnout and wanting to encourage conversation and promote circulation we arranged the furniture in a number of 2, 3 and 4 person groupings.
Our first hint of plans gone awry was that a throng of guests arrived at precisely the designated arrival time; a line actually formed outside the front door, limiting our ability to acknowledge each guest with due thanks. Over the years, I had come to expect guest arrivals a decent interval after the stated starting time, usually about 15 minutes. These precious moments were my sweet reward for prodigious effort and thoughtful consideration of my guests’ comfort before welcoming them at the front door.
The next misconception was food: every guest couple carried a contribution fit to feed a well-attended church supper. Since we already had enough to feed everyone the equivalent of a meal in appetizers, we were hard put to find counter or serving space. We had tapped into an unsuspected mother lode of provisions, culinary creativity and generosity.
We poured drinks and divvied up bins of food, asking people to find themselves a seat. Then we turned to circulate among our carefully arranged conversational groupings and whip up some witty repartee to be carried from cluster to cluster as people shifted and reformed according to conversational whims.
While we were busy our guests had rearranged the offered seating into a single large circle lining the perimeter of the room. The result suggested an oversubscribed therapy group stifled into uncomfortable reticence by the expanse of the circle’s girth: an occasion for performance rather than an opportunity for conversational intimacies.
Our lesson: the best intentioned plans may not survive encounters with unfamiliar social customs. After that halting start, we never fully connected with our neighbors and eventually moved out.
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Waving Etiquette
To add interest to the exercise regimen recommended by our oncologist, we acquired the habit of early morning walks on the local roads (no sidewalks here) to inspire us and lift the mantle of drudgery associated with mandated exercise. While doing so, we developed an appreciation of the etiquette, as interpreted by Tidewater Virginians, of signaling silent passing courtesies upon encountering one’s neighbors on a dead end road frequented only by residents, contractors and real estate agents. (we afoot, they behind the wheel of their car, SUV, pick-up or other conveyance).
We wave at every passing vehicle and mentally note the caliber of response. Broad categories of motivation can be attributed to those who respond: from simple courtesy to strangers, to “I see you every day and acknowledge your get-up-and-go” to “keep at it” to “your persistence is admirable” to “You go, girl!” Finer gradations of salutation emerge when contemplating the styles or responders.
The single finger raised from the steering wheel is the minimum acknowledgement signaling recognition without encouragement. No guarantee of repetition. Slightly more forthcoming is the four-finger raise, palm still firmly pressed against the wheel, probably the safest response for both driver and walker. Next warmest greeting is the hand lifted from the wheel with a single abbreviated motion in frank acknowledgement of the fleeting encounter with a minimum of commitment. More intense greetings scale up from a broad swing from the elbow reminiscent of a parade queen's gesture, to several vigorous waves, and on to the ultimate hand extended out the window, fingers splayed in warm recognition of a fellow wannabe athlete.
Stay well, and keep waving!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: August 20, 2009
We wave at every passing vehicle and mentally note the caliber of response. Broad categories of motivation can be attributed to those who respond: from simple courtesy to strangers, to “I see you every day and acknowledge your get-up-and-go” to “keep at it” to “your persistence is admirable” to “You go, girl!” Finer gradations of salutation emerge when contemplating the styles or responders.
The single finger raised from the steering wheel is the minimum acknowledgement signaling recognition without encouragement. No guarantee of repetition. Slightly more forthcoming is the four-finger raise, palm still firmly pressed against the wheel, probably the safest response for both driver and walker. Next warmest greeting is the hand lifted from the wheel with a single abbreviated motion in frank acknowledgement of the fleeting encounter with a minimum of commitment. More intense greetings scale up from a broad swing from the elbow reminiscent of a parade queen's gesture, to several vigorous waves, and on to the ultimate hand extended out the window, fingers splayed in warm recognition of a fellow wannabe athlete.
Stay well, and keep waving!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: August 20, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Moving On
During the past three years, I have faced the greatest challenge of my life so far.
The thunderbolt of the diagnosis tipped me into a deep and ongoing review of the premises upon which I had built my life to that point. The old comfortable handholds of memory and habit have faded; the new ones are as yet not fully realized. My dilemma now is: do I choose the easier path and just return to an approximation of my former belief set, or do I embark on a more challenging course, redefining my foundations as they appear to me now from an expanded and informed viewpoint.
As the struggle to free myself of this illness occupies less of my daily allotment of energy, I use the liberated time to explore who I am now while concurrently reacquainting myself with who I was before Diagnosis Day. I find, in meditating on that prior individual, that I am now working to shed the old skin that fit just fine for many years, while simultaneously growing a new skin, one more comfortable to the evolving me than the previous one.
All of this is happening on the back burner of my mind while I attend to tasks that don’t require thoughtful reflection; gardening is the most satisfying. I can pay attention to distinguishing weeds from perennials while subliminally concocting recipe alternatives for a “revised” me, checking an ingredient list, noting “keep this” or “replace that.”
I have been given a reprieve. How will I use the time left to me? Since I don’t know how long that will be, I’d better get on with it!
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: August 6, 2009
The thunderbolt of the diagnosis tipped me into a deep and ongoing review of the premises upon which I had built my life to that point. The old comfortable handholds of memory and habit have faded; the new ones are as yet not fully realized. My dilemma now is: do I choose the easier path and just return to an approximation of my former belief set, or do I embark on a more challenging course, redefining my foundations as they appear to me now from an expanded and informed viewpoint.
As the struggle to free myself of this illness occupies less of my daily allotment of energy, I use the liberated time to explore who I am now while concurrently reacquainting myself with who I was before Diagnosis Day. I find, in meditating on that prior individual, that I am now working to shed the old skin that fit just fine for many years, while simultaneously growing a new skin, one more comfortable to the evolving me than the previous one.
All of this is happening on the back burner of my mind while I attend to tasks that don’t require thoughtful reflection; gardening is the most satisfying. I can pay attention to distinguishing weeds from perennials while subliminally concocting recipe alternatives for a “revised” me, checking an ingredient list, noting “keep this” or “replace that.”
I have been given a reprieve. How will I use the time left to me? Since I don’t know how long that will be, I’d better get on with it!
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: August 6, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
LOCKSTEP
The latest blood work results are in from our recent trip to MUSC in Charleston, SC. For the first time in many months, both cancer markers are tracking downward meaning there are fewer cancer cells counted this time versus the last count in April.
The CEA (CarcinoEmbrionic Antigen) test that measures cancer cell generation is down 16% versus the April measure. This is the lowest level recorded since August 2007 when I volunteered to participate in the experimental drug study, a 74% drop from the starting point. The oncologists give greater weight to the CEA results than the Calcitonin measure which they consider relevant, but of lesser significance.
The Calcitonin (thyroid specific) measure is down 10% versus the April result; since August 2007 a drop of 57%. As opposed to a basketball game in which the highest point makers win, this contest becomes more successful as the numbers in the blood tests decline. Fewer cellular bad guys swimming around my circulatory system frees up the good guys to get on with their job of restoring my health. The lower the count, the healthier I become. The last time these two measures both dipped down at the same time was one year ago.
I know I’m healthier now than I was then because I feel stronger. The icing on the cake is the test results that prove it.
We hold you in our thoughts. Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 26, 2009
The CEA (CarcinoEmbrionic Antigen) test that measures cancer cell generation is down 16% versus the April measure. This is the lowest level recorded since August 2007 when I volunteered to participate in the experimental drug study, a 74% drop from the starting point. The oncologists give greater weight to the CEA results than the Calcitonin measure which they consider relevant, but of lesser significance.
The Calcitonin (thyroid specific) measure is down 10% versus the April result; since August 2007 a drop of 57%. As opposed to a basketball game in which the highest point makers win, this contest becomes more successful as the numbers in the blood tests decline. Fewer cellular bad guys swimming around my circulatory system frees up the good guys to get on with their job of restoring my health. The lower the count, the healthier I become. The last time these two measures both dipped down at the same time was one year ago.
I know I’m healthier now than I was then because I feel stronger. The icing on the cake is the test results that prove it.
We hold you in our thoughts. Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 26, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Graduation
Doctors’ visits delineate the life of a person with cancer, marking the passage of time and the progress of the illness. During the initial diagnosis and development of a treatment plan I saw the oncologist every two weeks, just barely enough time to note changes in symptoms or the appearance of side effects indicating response to treatment. With the illness in a critical, fast moving phase, frequent assessments afforded a nimble response to intercept and deflect further decline.
In my case this was especially crucial because surgery, radiation and targeted chemotherapy were all ruled out. At that time, the origin of the cancer was still unidentified to a certainty: without a target, treatments were meaningless. The source would simply continue sending cancerous cells back to the liver and perhaps to new sites as well.
Then, an experimental drug clinical study to treat the form of cancer I have was found at Medical University of South Carolina. Participation in this study mandates check-ups there with the study oncologist every three months. With active treatment underway, my primary oncologist here in Virginia, ever watchful of developments with this new treatment, extended visits to 6 week intervals: the first graduation. Later, when tumor growth began to slow, however gradually, and then halted, he extended visits to three month intervals.
Last week, after seeing the MUSC reports of tumor shrinkage, he promoted me from 3 month visits to SIX MONTH check ups, a significant change signaling confidence in the efficacy of the current treatment. This is cause for celebration!
A wonder! The power of many to shape positive results! Our gratitude to each of you for staying the course with your contribution of positive energy to our cause.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 22, 2009
In my case this was especially crucial because surgery, radiation and targeted chemotherapy were all ruled out. At that time, the origin of the cancer was still unidentified to a certainty: without a target, treatments were meaningless. The source would simply continue sending cancerous cells back to the liver and perhaps to new sites as well.
Then, an experimental drug clinical study to treat the form of cancer I have was found at Medical University of South Carolina. Participation in this study mandates check-ups there with the study oncologist every three months. With active treatment underway, my primary oncologist here in Virginia, ever watchful of developments with this new treatment, extended visits to 6 week intervals: the first graduation. Later, when tumor growth began to slow, however gradually, and then halted, he extended visits to three month intervals.
Last week, after seeing the MUSC reports of tumor shrinkage, he promoted me from 3 month visits to SIX MONTH check ups, a significant change signaling confidence in the efficacy of the current treatment. This is cause for celebration!
A wonder! The power of many to shape positive results! Our gratitude to each of you for staying the course with your contribution of positive energy to our cause.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Scale-iness
Each doctor’s visit begins with a question: “How do you FEEL?” They see and quantify symptoms and side effects by observation, lab results and imaging reports. They want to know how I rank unobservable measures such as pain and nausea on a scale of 0 – 10, zero being normal and ten being the worst imaginable. Many elements, experienced individually with varying degrees of intensity, contribute to an overall sense of wellbeing or gloom that in itself influences perception. Here is my current self-assessment compared with the last taken ten months ago.
Each item is assessed by selecting a number representing how I feel at that moment from the 10-point scale. When the list is complete, I check back and compare the current reading with the previous one to see what, if any, changes occurred. The periods between assessments are long enough that the likelihood of carryover influence is minimal.
PAIN 4 (↓ 1)
NAUSEA 3 (↓ 2)
FATIGUE 4 (↓ .4)
STRENGTH 5 (↓ 1)
DIARRHEA 6.5 (↓ 1.5)
RASH 2 ( ↔ )
EDEMA 1 (↓ 1)
SKIN SENSITIVITY 2 (↓ 4)
SIGNATURE 2 ( ↔ )
TASTE 0 (↓ 3)
APPETITE -4 ( ↔ ) 0=norm;<0=high;10=none
DRY MOUTH 3 (NA)
POSTURE 2 (↓ 2) weakness on left
SLEEP DISTURBANCE 3 (↓ 1) distress, insomnia
ANXIETY 3 (↓ 1)
DEPRESSION 5 (↑ 1)
This exercise may appear to be an obsessive infatuation with numbers. However, it is in my own interests to attempt to accurately communicate these criteria to the doctors so as to balance the information found through accepted scientific methodology. My self-assessment becomes one factor in their prognosis. The professionals have their tools; these are mine.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 9, 2009
Each item is assessed by selecting a number representing how I feel at that moment from the 10-point scale. When the list is complete, I check back and compare the current reading with the previous one to see what, if any, changes occurred. The periods between assessments are long enough that the likelihood of carryover influence is minimal.
PAIN 4 (↓ 1)
NAUSEA 3 (↓ 2)
FATIGUE 4 (↓ .4)
STRENGTH 5 (↓ 1)
DIARRHEA 6.5 (↓ 1.5)
RASH 2 ( ↔ )
EDEMA 1 (↓ 1)
SKIN SENSITIVITY 2 (↓ 4)
SIGNATURE 2 ( ↔ )
TASTE 0 (↓ 3)
APPETITE -4 ( ↔ ) 0=norm;<0=high;10=none
DRY MOUTH 3 (NA)
POSTURE 2 (↓ 2) weakness on left
SLEEP DISTURBANCE 3 (↓ 1) distress, insomnia
ANXIETY 3 (↓ 1)
DEPRESSION 5 (↑ 1)
This exercise may appear to be an obsessive infatuation with numbers. However, it is in my own interests to attempt to accurately communicate these criteria to the doctors so as to balance the information found through accepted scientific methodology. My self-assessment becomes one factor in their prognosis. The professionals have their tools; these are mine.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Michael Returns to (His) Life
For almost three years Michael has been anticipating my needs plus shouldering the Chores of Living – everything that keeps the engine of life going from day to day. Prior to D(iagnosis) Day it took two of us to keep a finger in the dike. As this health crisis engulfed us, we immediately pared back to essentials.
Now, with my returning strength, we are reverting to a more equitable division of responsibility: I feel better for carrying my share and Michael can return to his choice projects without guilt or incurring an insurmountable backlog.
Relieved of a dual share of responsibilities, Michael is now resuming HIS life. Mostly that means puttering aboard Prudence, tinkering with new ideas and realizing creative improvements to make her sail better. The great seven year rebuilding project was finished in 2004 but, paradoxically, the To Do list never gets shorter.
A major project, released from hold and recently completed, was assembling and documenting the life work of Michael’s father, the inventor/engineer Solomon Adler. The objective was to find a suitable home that would preserve his scores of patents and drawings, along with a collection of hand-made working prototypes demonstrating the developmental stages of what became the PaceSetter sewing machine series, still being manufactured by the Brother Corporation. Now, a deed of gift has transferred ownership of this meticulous collection to The Smithsonian Institution’s Museum of American Invention.
With greater frequency these days, I find Michael stretched out in the recliner with a book and a glass of iced tea at his elbow. I grin with pleasure to see him, if briefly, stepping aside from a demanding burden to refresh himself and take care of his own health.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 2, 2009
Now, with my returning strength, we are reverting to a more equitable division of responsibility: I feel better for carrying my share and Michael can return to his choice projects without guilt or incurring an insurmountable backlog.
Relieved of a dual share of responsibilities, Michael is now resuming HIS life. Mostly that means puttering aboard Prudence, tinkering with new ideas and realizing creative improvements to make her sail better. The great seven year rebuilding project was finished in 2004 but, paradoxically, the To Do list never gets shorter.
A major project, released from hold and recently completed, was assembling and documenting the life work of Michael’s father, the inventor/engineer Solomon Adler. The objective was to find a suitable home that would preserve his scores of patents and drawings, along with a collection of hand-made working prototypes demonstrating the developmental stages of what became the PaceSetter sewing machine series, still being manufactured by the Brother Corporation. Now, a deed of gift has transferred ownership of this meticulous collection to The Smithsonian Institution’s Museum of American Invention.
With greater frequency these days, I find Michael stretched out in the recliner with a book and a glass of iced tea at his elbow. I grin with pleasure to see him, if briefly, stepping aside from a demanding burden to refresh himself and take care of his own health.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: July 2, 2009
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