As a fifteen-year-old I dreamed of having an exciting life. I’m not sure I had a clear idea of what that entailed, but I was sure I would recognize it if I saw it. Countless exciting opportunities flung themselves across my path through life and rarely did one go by without my investigating if not actually acting on it. Curiosity urged me on to many adventures. (See http://www.flickr.com/photos/lee_guilfoyle/2739015404 for one example.)
Ultimately, over time and with a developing sense of self-preservation, I balanced unbridled curiosity with an ever-improving skill in risk analysis. There eventually came a tipping point at which the discarded opportunities began to outnumber the presenting possibilities. Life by Chance was beginning to pall. I yearned for a “nice boring life.”
It has taken me years to craft a Life by Choice rather than awaiting the capricious appearance of opportunities. Now I seek miniature wonders in the world around me. A plethora of corn and soybean fields nearby comfort me with their verdant textures fluctuating through seasonal changes. Morning walks take me past telephone wires laden with societies of song birds that, alarmed, rise in concert to flee my approach. As spring nears, we look forward to welcoming the return of nest-building ospreys and the appearance of their fledglings.
I am thankful for a rich life crammed with many diverse experiences and fascinating people eager to share their zest for life with a kindred soul. Fortunately, many are still in my life, including my beloved mate with his endless forbearance and leavening influence on my most ambitious enthusiasms. Thank all of you for being there with me over the long haul and advance thanks to those of you who have yet to appear.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Windows on our World
The first thing I notice about getting better is my energy level. Stretches of time stitch themselves along when suddenly I notice that I am doing significantly more than I was able to do a few months previously. A window opens and the fresh air of awareness arouses my senses to an appreciation of returning health.
Despite the onset of winter, the days seem longer because we are living each day more fully. As the sun sets, I can look at a list of minor accomplishments and extract a sense of achievement for having crossed them off the “to do” list. Before Diagnosis Day two years ago, the approach of dusk typically ignited in me a flair of frustration at the list of chores undone.
My criteria for finding daily satisfaction from accomplishments was high and inching ever higher back in my “normal” days. Instead of savoring the past or anticipating the future, I now find more time for smelling flowers, for tending to the moment, for throwing open windows.
What is different now is the magnitude of energy required to complete each task. As recently as two months ago completing every tiny little task required totally exhausting my energy reserves. Now I can string together several tasks before crumpling. Discovering fresh energy is like throwing a log on a dimming fire: Sparks fly celebrating their liberation. Flames dance with renewed vigor hungrily devouring fresh fuel. Embers glow, radiating intense contentment. All is well with our world.
As the year draws to an end, we wish the same renewal for you and your family in the minutes, months and years of your lives to come.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 11, 2008
Despite the onset of winter, the days seem longer because we are living each day more fully. As the sun sets, I can look at a list of minor accomplishments and extract a sense of achievement for having crossed them off the “to do” list. Before Diagnosis Day two years ago, the approach of dusk typically ignited in me a flair of frustration at the list of chores undone.
My criteria for finding daily satisfaction from accomplishments was high and inching ever higher back in my “normal” days. Instead of savoring the past or anticipating the future, I now find more time for smelling flowers, for tending to the moment, for throwing open windows.
What is different now is the magnitude of energy required to complete each task. As recently as two months ago completing every tiny little task required totally exhausting my energy reserves. Now I can string together several tasks before crumpling. Discovering fresh energy is like throwing a log on a dimming fire: Sparks fly celebrating their liberation. Flames dance with renewed vigor hungrily devouring fresh fuel. Embers glow, radiating intense contentment. All is well with our world.
As the year draws to an end, we wish the same renewal for you and your family in the minutes, months and years of your lives to come.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 11, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving
Today is our third Thanksgiving observance since Diagnosis Day. Considering how grim the picture was at that time (2006), it is a miracle that I’m even here, and THAT is worthy of celebration!
We are thankful for all the nausea; it signals that the chemotherapy is at work. That side effect is now mostly gone so we celebrate the strengthening of basic health. One signal of health is the “WNL” results on the quarterly blood analysis. Within Normal Limits means that, except for the cancer markers, my blood looks just like any normally healthy person’s blood. Let’s celebrate!
The cancer markers are less consistent. The overall trend since starting with the AstraZeneca chemotherapy (8-13-07) is down to within celebratory levels: The general cancer activity marker, CEA, is down 66% since then; the specific thyroid cancer marker (Calcitonin) is down 71% in the same time frame. Down is good because it means a lowered level of cancer cell activity. Let’s celebrate!
Your support, prayers and affirmations have been a wave bearing us up through scary, uncertain times. There aren’t Thanks enough in all the world to adequately express our gratitude for your staying the course with us. Our constant love goes to you and your family with wishes that your Thanksgiving is as bright as you have made ours.
So let’s go directly to the bottom line and serve the turkey!
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 25, 200
We are thankful for all the nausea; it signals that the chemotherapy is at work. That side effect is now mostly gone so we celebrate the strengthening of basic health. One signal of health is the “WNL” results on the quarterly blood analysis. Within Normal Limits means that, except for the cancer markers, my blood looks just like any normally healthy person’s blood. Let’s celebrate!
The cancer markers are less consistent. The overall trend since starting with the AstraZeneca chemotherapy (8-13-07) is down to within celebratory levels: The general cancer activity marker, CEA, is down 66% since then; the specific thyroid cancer marker (Calcitonin) is down 71% in the same time frame. Down is good because it means a lowered level of cancer cell activity. Let’s celebrate!
Your support, prayers and affirmations have been a wave bearing us up through scary, uncertain times. There aren’t Thanks enough in all the world to adequately express our gratitude for your staying the course with us. Our constant love goes to you and your family with wishes that your Thanksgiving is as bright as you have made ours.
So let’s go directly to the bottom line and serve the turkey!
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 25, 200
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Down Days
At this time of year my spirits droop, weighed down by added hours of darkness, the preponderance of days with anemic daylight and chill breezes. Too few are the days that elevate my spirit with the joy of being alive: crisp, clear skies, bracing gusts and sunlight warming my face. It is time for a seasonal inventory of my arsenal of weapons to combat weather- and spirit-weariness.
My criteria for inventory assessment: Antidotes must be able to be started within hours if not minutes, completed in less than three days, and have a lasting effect. Bingeing on antidotes is not the answer; the point is to savor the process and extend the enjoyment of the outcome. For fellow seasonal sufferers here are some pre-tested suggestions that have worked for me.
Bake cookies for a neighbor. (Choose a different culinary strategy if your neighbor happens to be a dentist.)
Simmer up a pot of soup for a shut-in (and save some for yourself). The chicken soup “myth” is actually true!
Find out about light visors to compensate for fewer hours of natural daylight. The one I use is Bio-Brite (www.biobrite.com)
Find an interactive blog site and post an opinion. Someone is reading responses.
Visit a resident of an assisted living facility. Everyone has a history; some are spellbinding.
Telephone a classmate you haven’t seen since high school. Have they lived their dreams?
Invite a sister/brother/cousin/friend to visit for a few days. (Specify length of stay.)
Write a Letter to the Editor of your hometown newspaper. Find a forum for your (printable) opinions.
Read some Ogden Nash poems.
This is only a partial list to get the creative juices flowing. Add more from your own experience. Pick one, mix with a dash of sunlight and let a smile break through.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 20, 2008
My criteria for inventory assessment: Antidotes must be able to be started within hours if not minutes, completed in less than three days, and have a lasting effect. Bingeing on antidotes is not the answer; the point is to savor the process and extend the enjoyment of the outcome. For fellow seasonal sufferers here are some pre-tested suggestions that have worked for me.
Bake cookies for a neighbor. (Choose a different culinary strategy if your neighbor happens to be a dentist.)
Simmer up a pot of soup for a shut-in (and save some for yourself). The chicken soup “myth” is actually true!
Find out about light visors to compensate for fewer hours of natural daylight. The one I use is Bio-Brite (www.biobrite.com)
Find an interactive blog site and post an opinion. Someone is reading responses.
Visit a resident of an assisted living facility. Everyone has a history; some are spellbinding.
Telephone a classmate you haven’t seen since high school. Have they lived their dreams?
Invite a sister/brother/cousin/friend to visit for a few days. (Specify length of stay.)
Write a Letter to the Editor of your hometown newspaper. Find a forum for your (printable) opinions.
Read some Ogden Nash poems.
This is only a partial list to get the creative juices flowing. Add more from your own experience. Pick one, mix with a dash of sunlight and let a smile break through.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 20, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Exercise Evolution
My exercise plans evolved in halts and starts through the years starting before the fitness revolution was a gleam in Jane Fonda’s eye. After graduation ended my high school sports programs, and feeling fidgety without regular exercise, I took up jogging.
While living near San Jose, California in my mid-thirties, my friend Judy and I decided to train together to prepare for the Bay to Breakers race, a 7.46 mile (12K) cross-San Francisco route from the eastern waterfront ending at the Pacific Ocean in the west. We trained for months at a local high school track, gradually extending our distance and endurance.
The event attracted about 7,000 runners that year with thousands more lining the route to cheer us. Even though we trained on a flat track, Judy and I finished in respectable time for amateur runners facing San Francisco’s daunting landscape. While many runners walked Hayes Street Hill, I am proud to say that Judy and I held to a jogging pace throughout. It may seem a modest achievement to more accomplished runners. But then challenges are relative and this one is the longest run I have ever tackled (or hope to).
The evolution of my personal plan of exercise is apparent in scanning the titles of my collection of fitness VCRs and DVDs starting with Jane Fonda and continuing with Callanetics, Kathy Smith, Richard Simmons, QiGong, Dancing Grannies and Kripalu Yoga, each of which offers it’s own special benefits. A few are catching dust; many find themselves back in favor as I search for variety in my current exercise plan.
Stay well as faithfully as you have stayed the course with us … and keep moving!
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 13, 2008
While living near San Jose, California in my mid-thirties, my friend Judy and I decided to train together to prepare for the Bay to Breakers race, a 7.46 mile (12K) cross-San Francisco route from the eastern waterfront ending at the Pacific Ocean in the west. We trained for months at a local high school track, gradually extending our distance and endurance.
The event attracted about 7,000 runners that year with thousands more lining the route to cheer us. Even though we trained on a flat track, Judy and I finished in respectable time for amateur runners facing San Francisco’s daunting landscape. While many runners walked Hayes Street Hill, I am proud to say that Judy and I held to a jogging pace throughout. It may seem a modest achievement to more accomplished runners. But then challenges are relative and this one is the longest run I have ever tackled (or hope to).
The evolution of my personal plan of exercise is apparent in scanning the titles of my collection of fitness VCRs and DVDs starting with Jane Fonda and continuing with Callanetics, Kathy Smith, Richard Simmons, QiGong, Dancing Grannies and Kripalu Yoga, each of which offers it’s own special benefits. A few are catching dust; many find themselves back in favor as I search for variety in my current exercise plan.
Stay well as faithfully as you have stayed the course with us … and keep moving!
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 13, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Renovation Project
As I become stronger, I am reclaiming bits of my former self by pondering how to rebuild my life and label the process: Recovery, Reconstruction, Remodeling, or Renovation.
Many think of my journey with cancer as a path to recovery. Recovery has come to bear connotations associated with overcoming addictions. My situation differs. I used to believe recovery was a passive process that occurs while lying in bed waiting until health magically returns to its former state.
Reconstruction connotes restoring as perfectly as possible to the previous condition. I emerge from the episode of illness the same as before the onset.
Remodeling constitutes reshaping the original using same or similar materials, a bit of polishing and some rearrangements resulting in a more convenient or agreeable environment.
Renovation differs from the above in not simply returning to a former condition, but rather by “making new” being actively involved in the process. This means thinking myself back to before this illness, examining each component of my persona for aptness to a new vision of “me” including “keepers” and discarding unwanted or unnecessary parts, re-creating each facet of my health, physical and spiritual being. The Katrina survivors of New Orleans’s 9th ward know a lot about this process.
One big “keeper” is my experience of your overwhelming support and expressions of caring concern that will be part of me always.
NOTE: Future blog postings will occur weekly on either Thursday or Friday unless events dictate an “extra edition.”
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 7, 2008
Many think of my journey with cancer as a path to recovery. Recovery has come to bear connotations associated with overcoming addictions. My situation differs. I used to believe recovery was a passive process that occurs while lying in bed waiting until health magically returns to its former state.
Reconstruction connotes restoring as perfectly as possible to the previous condition. I emerge from the episode of illness the same as before the onset.
Remodeling constitutes reshaping the original using same or similar materials, a bit of polishing and some rearrangements resulting in a more convenient or agreeable environment.
Renovation differs from the above in not simply returning to a former condition, but rather by “making new” being actively involved in the process. This means thinking myself back to before this illness, examining each component of my persona for aptness to a new vision of “me” including “keepers” and discarding unwanted or unnecessary parts, re-creating each facet of my health, physical and spiritual being. The Katrina survivors of New Orleans’s 9th ward know a lot about this process.
One big “keeper” is my experience of your overwhelming support and expressions of caring concern that will be part of me always.
NOTE: Future blog postings will occur weekly on either Thursday or Friday unless events dictate an “extra edition.”
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted November 7, 2008
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