Progress is blindingly fast when viewed in a nano-blink of a geological eye. But, lived day to day, progress seems interminably slow, especially when looking for change. Looking back from now, I am appalled to realize how sick I was in the final days of 2006 without being aware of it at the time. The illness was gaining momentum, entrenching itself more firmly while we searched for an understanding of what was happening and what to do about it. We worried about not having enough information to decide whether or not to worry!
Many factors blocked what we defined as “progress” toward therapeutic interventions. The death of my oncologist with attendant grief and memorial events, reassignment to another oncologist, seasonal delays due to holiday time off for medical professionals critical to the diagnostic process and, finally, the need to enlist a second opinion to clarify the diagnosis. There was no foot-dragging, just unavoidable delay due to immutable obstacles.
Now my status is “stable.” The changes in the most recent 6 month period marked by three measures are minimal as measured by imaging and palpation of my liver. CEA blood analyses continue to decline (good) and Calcitonin, equivocal at best, is actually fluctuating within a fairly narrow range, trending downward (also good). These are hard won positive benchmarks. I should appreciate them more. But being a creature more prone to action that reflection, it seems to me the improvements are taking an inordinately long time to show themselves. I must tone down my “hare” instincts and take to heart the lessons in patience and persistence demonstrated by Aesop’s turtle barely a geological blink ago in ancient Greece.
I’m counting on you for turtle company!
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
September 7, 2008
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