Recent changes in my condition at first glance looked like a return to the bad old days of new symptoms and weird side effects appearing unexpectedly.
I’ve come up lame along the right side of my neck causing acute pain when turning my head. Other pain has lodged in my right hip making any movement excruciating. At my chiropractor’s office last week I described my “symptoms.” The doctor immediately put his finger on it, literally, as an injured shoulder muscle and a strained gluteal muscle.
In a way these are side effects, but not of illness or chemotherapy. They are common to people who have “over trained” in their personal exercise routine. A light massage of the injured areas gave immediate relief; I was sent home with a stretchy band and instructions for its use to speed recovery. He also advised trimming my overly ambitious workout routine (six days alternating 90- and 30-minute workouts). The fact that any exercise enthusiast can have the same injuries encourages me. I feel like a “regular” person!
Another recent episode reinforces that feeling. At a social gathering, several of our friends (really!) teased me about my scrawny butt. I was aghast until I realized the humor and friendly intent of the jibe. Apparently others see me as strong enough to take a tease, and that’s a valid reflection of their assessment of my health.
Just recognizing that some of the aches, pains and vicissitudes I am experiencing are shared by others free of illness encourages me to wallow in the pleasure of feeling like a “regular” person. I haven’t forgotten what it’s like to feel that way and am hugely grateful to all of you who have supported us in this quest.
Stay well!
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Belly Laugh
It’s spontaneous. It’s strong, deep and satisfying. And it caught me off guard.
Now, I can’t even remember what plucked my sense of fancy. Some silliness crept up on me, enfolded me in a bear hug and liberated my sense of whimsy. Suddenly I found myself laughing with abandon, fully experiencing the physical and psychic tickle of mirth.
Reactions moved at lightning speed, piling one on top of the other. I threw my head back, creating a clear escape route for the bursts of laughter scrambling their way up my throat to freedom; closed my eyes, the better to shut out extraneous stimuli and focus singly on reacquainting myself with the pleasure of abandonment I had almost forgotten existed.
A sense of discovery illuminated the experience. The authenticity of my laughter rang out clearly, even to my own ears. Long-estranged sensations rushed in to settle into their corner of home, welcoming and embracing the moment and each other. The comfort of self-at-home instantly reasserted itself, polishing up psychic furnishings that had long faded from my awareness of now.
As my health improves, I am reminded by contrast with two years ago how very ill I was then: more ill than I realized at the time. So, too, as I laughed, I instantly recognized how long it has been since succumbing so completely to a thoroughly satisfying belly laugh.
Norman Cousins (Anatomy of an Illness) proved again: laughter is the best medicine; I’m looking forward to more “comedic therapy” treatments.
Stay well.
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted April 18, 2009
Now, I can’t even remember what plucked my sense of fancy. Some silliness crept up on me, enfolded me in a bear hug and liberated my sense of whimsy. Suddenly I found myself laughing with abandon, fully experiencing the physical and psychic tickle of mirth.
Reactions moved at lightning speed, piling one on top of the other. I threw my head back, creating a clear escape route for the bursts of laughter scrambling their way up my throat to freedom; closed my eyes, the better to shut out extraneous stimuli and focus singly on reacquainting myself with the pleasure of abandonment I had almost forgotten existed.
A sense of discovery illuminated the experience. The authenticity of my laughter rang out clearly, even to my own ears. Long-estranged sensations rushed in to settle into their corner of home, welcoming and embracing the moment and each other. The comfort of self-at-home instantly reasserted itself, polishing up psychic furnishings that had long faded from my awareness of now.
As my health improves, I am reminded by contrast with two years ago how very ill I was then: more ill than I realized at the time. So, too, as I laughed, I instantly recognized how long it has been since succumbing so completely to a thoroughly satisfying belly laugh.
Norman Cousins (Anatomy of an Illness) proved again: laughter is the best medicine; I’m looking forward to more “comedic therapy” treatments.
Stay well.
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted April 18, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Hello Again
Thank you for your phone calls and messages. Hearing your voices and news of your lives has been a great lift to my spirits during this self-styled sabbatical and throughout this journey of discovery.
JANUARY: The news from January’s trip to Charleston for the experimental drug clinical trial check-up continued holding steady with more or less equally balanced changes. Four tumors in my liver were scanned: the two smaller tumors showed some growth while two larger tumors actually shrank. This is the first conspicuous shrinkage we’ve had since I joined the trial a year and a half ago. Blood testing also turned up few variations from “normal range,” and those were close enough not to be a worry or require treatment. We’re building an impressive track record!
APRIL: The most recent trip, completed last week, is even better. From four radiology reports: “Essentially unchanged” (abdomen, liver); “without evidence of metastatic disease” (pelvis); “Stable…without new nodes or masses … thyroid unchanged” (neck); “no evidence of … abnormality. Unchanged … lymph node.” (chest).
As for the blood work, the CEA (carcinoembryonic antigen) is down 22% since the January analysis. This means that the cancer cells are creating fewer new cells than before. The results of the second (Calcitonin) markers will be available soon. I’ll pass them along when I have them. Other results from the blood testing are all Within Normal Range or close enough not to be a concern. Overall, a “no change” situation, the third consecutive check-up showing little or no changes.
Thank you for being with us so faithfully.
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: April 9, 2009
JANUARY: The news from January’s trip to Charleston for the experimental drug clinical trial check-up continued holding steady with more or less equally balanced changes. Four tumors in my liver were scanned: the two smaller tumors showed some growth while two larger tumors actually shrank. This is the first conspicuous shrinkage we’ve had since I joined the trial a year and a half ago. Blood testing also turned up few variations from “normal range,” and those were close enough not to be a worry or require treatment. We’re building an impressive track record!
APRIL: The most recent trip, completed last week, is even better. From four radiology reports: “Essentially unchanged” (abdomen, liver); “without evidence of metastatic disease” (pelvis); “Stable…without new nodes or masses … thyroid unchanged” (neck); “no evidence of … abnormality. Unchanged … lymph node.” (chest).
As for the blood work, the CEA (carcinoembryonic antigen) is down 22% since the January analysis. This means that the cancer cells are creating fewer new cells than before. The results of the second (Calcitonin) markers will be available soon. I’ll pass them along when I have them. Other results from the blood testing are all Within Normal Range or close enough not to be a concern. Overall, a “no change” situation, the third consecutive check-up showing little or no changes.
Thank you for being with us so faithfully.
Copyright 2009
Lynn Chapman-Adler
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted: April 9, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Yoga
As a long time jock, my habit has been to gather myself for an effort much as a race horse collects itself preparing to burst from the starting gate. A sporadic mix of jogging and fast walking satisfied my impatient nature for a long while, though the accumulated years eventually slowed me down, not by intention, but by performance.
Creakiness of my movable parts gradually eroded my enthusiasm for getting started and sustaining a respectable pace. To help counterbalance the excesses of cardio vascular indulgence, and to stretch me out between keyed-up activities, I explored yoga.
During yoga practice, I am constantly impressed with how, instead of relaxing into a pose to gain the greatest possible stretch, my body tenaciously clings to the habit of tensing for effort. As I shift my awareness to the particular part of me being stretched in a pose, I discover that my muscles are clenched against the stretch, limiting the value to be gained from holding the pose. The effect of this discovery is profound. I become aware of a whole different concept of movement, to engaging and disengaging, to energizing or relaxing various parts of my body to achieve grace, ease and flexibility of motion.
Now the regular practice of yoga helps to reduce morning stiffness and complaining joints. Recently I added Pilates to my regular exercises to complement yoga in rebuilding my core strength for structural load bearing. By restoring the muscles that support my upper body to their intended condition, I will rebalance my posture and reduce stress on parts of my body not meant to bear weight. Good-bye creakiness!
Keep well. Our thoughts fly to you carrying messages of good will for you throughout 2009.
Copyright 2009
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted January 2, 2009
Creakiness of my movable parts gradually eroded my enthusiasm for getting started and sustaining a respectable pace. To help counterbalance the excesses of cardio vascular indulgence, and to stretch me out between keyed-up activities, I explored yoga.
During yoga practice, I am constantly impressed with how, instead of relaxing into a pose to gain the greatest possible stretch, my body tenaciously clings to the habit of tensing for effort. As I shift my awareness to the particular part of me being stretched in a pose, I discover that my muscles are clenched against the stretch, limiting the value to be gained from holding the pose. The effect of this discovery is profound. I become aware of a whole different concept of movement, to engaging and disengaging, to energizing or relaxing various parts of my body to achieve grace, ease and flexibility of motion.
Now the regular practice of yoga helps to reduce morning stiffness and complaining joints. Recently I added Pilates to my regular exercises to complement yoga in rebuilding my core strength for structural load bearing. By restoring the muscles that support my upper body to their intended condition, I will rebalance my posture and reduce stress on parts of my body not meant to bear weight. Good-bye creakiness!
Keep well. Our thoughts fly to you carrying messages of good will for you throughout 2009.
Copyright 2009
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted January 2, 2009
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas 2008
Christmas memories from childhood creep into my awareness and I swear right now I can smell the aroma of a mince pie cooking despite an empty oven. I relive the agonizing anticipation that built in me during that last half hour on Christmas morning before the household started stirring and we could inspect the goodies in our bulging Christmas stockings. Magically, during the night while we slept, they were tucked next to our beds so that they would be the first thing we saw when we awoke in the morning.
The stocking experience is the quintessential spirit of Christmas for me. Our family is large (10 of us kids), so the production of the elf squad was severely taxed to meet the Christmas Eve deadline. The stocking contents varied each year, but as the years rolled along, a collection of essentials became mandatory. Especially memorable are the wind-up toys: drum-beating marching musicians, dinosaurs stomping, race cars clattering, every creative incarnation imaginable.
Nuts, fruits and sweets filled the smaller spaces, with a Clementine in each toe. Exotica included tinned smoked oysters, clams and mussels. A yearly set of jacks or paddle balls were expected. All the edibles were consumed willy-nilly before breakfast: smoked oysters on top of marzipan on top of freshly cracked walnuts.
The stocking tradition has become one of our most treasured family memories. All year long we remained on shopping alert collecting oddities, squirreling them away for the Christmas Eve wrapping and stocking stuffing marathon. One year two of my sisters in adjacent beds shared real stockings: ready-to-be-discarded panty hose; they each got one stuffed leg.
Michael and I wish each of you a warm Christmas season filled with treasured memories: those of the past as well as those yet to be generated.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 26, 2008
The stocking experience is the quintessential spirit of Christmas for me. Our family is large (10 of us kids), so the production of the elf squad was severely taxed to meet the Christmas Eve deadline. The stocking contents varied each year, but as the years rolled along, a collection of essentials became mandatory. Especially memorable are the wind-up toys: drum-beating marching musicians, dinosaurs stomping, race cars clattering, every creative incarnation imaginable.
Nuts, fruits and sweets filled the smaller spaces, with a Clementine in each toe. Exotica included tinned smoked oysters, clams and mussels. A yearly set of jacks or paddle balls were expected. All the edibles were consumed willy-nilly before breakfast: smoked oysters on top of marzipan on top of freshly cracked walnuts.
The stocking tradition has become one of our most treasured family memories. All year long we remained on shopping alert collecting oddities, squirreling them away for the Christmas Eve wrapping and stocking stuffing marathon. One year two of my sisters in adjacent beds shared real stockings: ready-to-be-discarded panty hose; they each got one stuffed leg.
Michael and I wish each of you a warm Christmas season filled with treasured memories: those of the past as well as those yet to be generated.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A Nice Boring Life
As a fifteen-year-old I dreamed of having an exciting life. I’m not sure I had a clear idea of what that entailed, but I was sure I would recognize it if I saw it. Countless exciting opportunities flung themselves across my path through life and rarely did one go by without my investigating if not actually acting on it. Curiosity urged me on to many adventures. (See http://www.flickr.com/photos/lee_guilfoyle/2739015404 for one example.)
Ultimately, over time and with a developing sense of self-preservation, I balanced unbridled curiosity with an ever-improving skill in risk analysis. There eventually came a tipping point at which the discarded opportunities began to outnumber the presenting possibilities. Life by Chance was beginning to pall. I yearned for a “nice boring life.”
It has taken me years to craft a Life by Choice rather than awaiting the capricious appearance of opportunities. Now I seek miniature wonders in the world around me. A plethora of corn and soybean fields nearby comfort me with their verdant textures fluctuating through seasonal changes. Morning walks take me past telephone wires laden with societies of song birds that, alarmed, rise in concert to flee my approach. As spring nears, we look forward to welcoming the return of nest-building ospreys and the appearance of their fledglings.
I am thankful for a rich life crammed with many diverse experiences and fascinating people eager to share their zest for life with a kindred soul. Fortunately, many are still in my life, including my beloved mate with his endless forbearance and leavening influence on my most ambitious enthusiasms. Thank all of you for being there with me over the long haul and advance thanks to those of you who have yet to appear.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 18, 2008
Ultimately, over time and with a developing sense of self-preservation, I balanced unbridled curiosity with an ever-improving skill in risk analysis. There eventually came a tipping point at which the discarded opportunities began to outnumber the presenting possibilities. Life by Chance was beginning to pall. I yearned for a “nice boring life.”
It has taken me years to craft a Life by Choice rather than awaiting the capricious appearance of opportunities. Now I seek miniature wonders in the world around me. A plethora of corn and soybean fields nearby comfort me with their verdant textures fluctuating through seasonal changes. Morning walks take me past telephone wires laden with societies of song birds that, alarmed, rise in concert to flee my approach. As spring nears, we look forward to welcoming the return of nest-building ospreys and the appearance of their fledglings.
I am thankful for a rich life crammed with many diverse experiences and fascinating people eager to share their zest for life with a kindred soul. Fortunately, many are still in my life, including my beloved mate with his endless forbearance and leavening influence on my most ambitious enthusiasms. Thank all of you for being there with me over the long haul and advance thanks to those of you who have yet to appear.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Windows on our World
The first thing I notice about getting better is my energy level. Stretches of time stitch themselves along when suddenly I notice that I am doing significantly more than I was able to do a few months previously. A window opens and the fresh air of awareness arouses my senses to an appreciation of returning health.
Despite the onset of winter, the days seem longer because we are living each day more fully. As the sun sets, I can look at a list of minor accomplishments and extract a sense of achievement for having crossed them off the “to do” list. Before Diagnosis Day two years ago, the approach of dusk typically ignited in me a flair of frustration at the list of chores undone.
My criteria for finding daily satisfaction from accomplishments was high and inching ever higher back in my “normal” days. Instead of savoring the past or anticipating the future, I now find more time for smelling flowers, for tending to the moment, for throwing open windows.
What is different now is the magnitude of energy required to complete each task. As recently as two months ago completing every tiny little task required totally exhausting my energy reserves. Now I can string together several tasks before crumpling. Discovering fresh energy is like throwing a log on a dimming fire: Sparks fly celebrating their liberation. Flames dance with renewed vigor hungrily devouring fresh fuel. Embers glow, radiating intense contentment. All is well with our world.
As the year draws to an end, we wish the same renewal for you and your family in the minutes, months and years of your lives to come.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 11, 2008
Despite the onset of winter, the days seem longer because we are living each day more fully. As the sun sets, I can look at a list of minor accomplishments and extract a sense of achievement for having crossed them off the “to do” list. Before Diagnosis Day two years ago, the approach of dusk typically ignited in me a flair of frustration at the list of chores undone.
My criteria for finding daily satisfaction from accomplishments was high and inching ever higher back in my “normal” days. Instead of savoring the past or anticipating the future, I now find more time for smelling flowers, for tending to the moment, for throwing open windows.
What is different now is the magnitude of energy required to complete each task. As recently as two months ago completing every tiny little task required totally exhausting my energy reserves. Now I can string together several tasks before crumpling. Discovering fresh energy is like throwing a log on a dimming fire: Sparks fly celebrating their liberation. Flames dance with renewed vigor hungrily devouring fresh fuel. Embers glow, radiating intense contentment. All is well with our world.
As the year draws to an end, we wish the same renewal for you and your family in the minutes, months and years of your lives to come.
Copyright 2008
www.lindalater.blogspot.com
Posted December 11, 2008
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